The Art of Dating
by ProfessionallyCrazedNarutoFan
Summary: Sarada and Inojin's not-so-secret relationship, and overprotective Papa Sasuke is oblivious. Until one day when he isn't.
1. The Art of Diversion

**Title: **The Art of Diversion  
**Summary: **Drawing is not the only kind of art Inojin is skilled in.  
**Pairing: **SaraJin/InoSara  
**Disclaimer:** Naruto, not mine since 1999.  
**Note:** This started out as a little drabble, now I'm making it into some kind of short multi-chapter drablet. I dont know. SaraJin is just so cute.

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke is not a happy man.

Every day for the last eleven days, an unsigned bouquet of flowers has been delivered to his door at precisely nine a.m. The sender of these flowers must clearly has a deathwish, because the card always reads "For the most beautiful kunoichi in Konoha."

Since Sasuke himself is not a kunoichi, it can be deduced that the flowers are either for his wife (a remarkably bad decision on the sender's part) or his fifteen year-old daughter (an even worse decision).

Either one of these scenarios sends him into a protective fury.

He immediately dismisses the idea that Sakura has an extraneous lover. The idea is ludicrous, and the possibility is far more likely that she has another stalker.

But, and he hates to use any of these words because they're too reminiscent of a certain Green Beast, Sarada is in the full bloom of youth, and her formidable skills as a kunoichi have not gone unnoticed by the village and its young men.

Sasuke has tried every intimidation tactic he knows to try to pry the sender's identity from the delivery boy, but Yamanka Ino only hires help who know how to be discreet, and so Sasuke is stymied.

Slamming the vase of pink tiger lillies onto the stand in the hall, Sasuke stomps off toward the kitchen, yelling for his wife.

* * *

As soon as Sasuke is out of sight, Sarada emerges from the hall closet. She lifts the lillies to her nose, inhaling deeply and smiling to herself.

Double-checking to make sure her father is well and truly out of site, she makes a mad dash to her room with the flowers, taking care not to jostle them.

Once inside, she lovingly sets the arrangement on top of her dresser with several other bouquets. There are lillies, roses, chrysanthemums, peonies, snapdragons, and many more, and Sarada adores them all.

But then, what else would you expect from the son of the owner of the most renowned flower shop in the village?

Making sure her bedroom door is firmly shut, Sarada rushes to the window and opens it.

Blue-green eyes and a handsome smile meet hers as Inojin climbs in through the window.

"Hey beautiful," he greets, wrapping his arms around her in an embrace. "Did the flower distraction work again?"

"Like a charm," she replies, smirking as she pulls him down for a kiss.


	2. The Art of Escape

**Title: **The Art of Escape  
**Summary: **In which Inojin is shown to have inherited his father's drawing ability and his lack of tact.  
**Pairing: **SaraJin/InoSara  
**Disclaimer:** Naruto, not mine since 1999.

* * *

In the kitchen, Sasuke paces back and forth like a lion. _Someone_ is trying to shower one of the women in his life with their stalkerish, unwanted attention, and Sasuke will absolutely _not stand for that_. He will go straight to Ino, he raves, and demand to see her receipt book so he can track down the culprit.

Beside him, Sakura sighs and rolls her eyes. She knows exactly who's been sending those flowers and who they're for, but unlike Sasuke, she thinks Sarada and Inojin's "hidden" relationship is adorable.

It is the worst kept secret in the village that their daughter is dating Ino and Sai's son, but somehow Sasuke is the only person that doesn't know. Sakura figures she should probably tell him at some point, but she wants the kids to have a little bit more time together before Sasuke submits Inojin to the Bingo Book.

"-no coward that refuses to sign his name or show his face will be setting foot near either one of you. I will personally ensure that he's stuck in an infinite tsukuyomi of pain if he ever attempts to contact you in person-"

Just as Sasuke's rant is ramping up, the crash of shattering glass can be heard from down the hall. Before Sakura can utter a word, Sasuke is flying toward Sarada's room.

Groaning, Sakura takes off after him.

* * *

"Crap crap double crap."

The problem with making out with one party on top of a dresser full of flowers is that their enthusiasm was bound to cause a mess.

Unfortunately, it was a very noisy mess.

Sarada hurriedly sweeps the pieces of the broken vase under her bed as Inojin throws the scattered flowers out the window. To their mutual horror, they hear the sound of thundering footsteps and Sasuke's bellowing voice in the hall.

"Sarada! What's going on in there!"

Beyond him, Sakura's muffled voice responds. "Calm down, Sasuke-kun, she probably just dropped something. There's no need to get so worked up."

But Sasuke is intractable. "Like hell there isn't. There's a boy in there, _I can smell him_."

"Get out," Sarada hisses, shoving Inojin toward the window.

But they're two seconds too late as the door abruptly slams open, revealing a Sasuke whose face starts purpling as soon as he lays spinning sharingan eyes on Inojin, who is half hanging out of the window.

Inojin turns deadly white (well, whiter than he usually is) and scrambles to free himself from the window.

"YOU LITTLE RUNT, HOW DARE YOU ENTER MY HOUSE AND DEFILE MY DAUGHTER," Sasuke roars, yanking Kusanagi out of its scabbard and charging toward the window.

"Papa/Sasuke, stop!" Sarada and Sakura yell together, but Sasuke is deaf to them.

* * *

Outside, Inojin whips out his sketchbook as he stumbles through the garden, struggling to pull his brush out of his pants pocket. Sasuke, being faster than even most ANBU, is already out the window and way too close for comfort.

Inojin jerks open the sketchbook, hurriedly breezing past the pages that hold what looks suspiciously like risque drawings of a certain Uchiha daughter to a blank page. His brush swipes across the page, and he sends one ink creature after another in hopes of distracting Sasuke, or at least slowing him down.

But Kusanagi slices through the ink like…well, ink, and the Uchiha isn't slowed down in the least.

Reaching the end of a street, Inojin takes a sharp left, only to find himself cornered in a dead end. He turns and gulps as Sasuke stops in the alley entrance, chokuto brandished and sharingan spinning rapidly.

There's no time left to think. He has one last, desperate move up his sleeve. If he uses it, he's definitely dead, but it will buy him time to get away for now.

Biting his lip, Inojin rapidly draws a series of swirls and curves and lets the ink come to life. He's already scrambling up the back wall with chakra-coated feet as Sasuke can only stare in first surprise, then realization, and then finally murderous fury.

Left behind in Inojin's wake is an inky likeness of a naked Sakura, winking and waving at Sasuke.


	3. The Art of Evasion

**Title: **The Art of Evasion  
**Summary: **There is no outrunning an angry papa Sasuke.  
**Pairing: **SaraJin/InoSara  
**Note I**: I'm sorry, I can't write Sai decently to save my life. x_x  
**Note II: **Not sure how far I'm going to carry this. Maybe two or three more chapters. Five chapters sounds like a good number.  
**Disclaimer:** Naruto, not mine since 1999.

* * *

"Inojin's been acting rather strangely for the last two days, don't you think?" Ino asks as she arranges a flower bouquet.

Sai, sitting on a stool next to her and doodling in a sketchbook, merely shrugs. "I've read that boys of his age are walking volcanoes of sexual tension. Perhaps he has been acquiring pornographic materials in secret in order to-"

There is a crash as Ino shoves Sai off of the stool and he goes crashing to the ground. A look of disgust crosses her face. "I don't need to know that about my _son_."

Sai looks confused. "I don't understand. I read that it's a natural release function of the human body. Is that not so?"

Exasperated, Ino throws up her hands. "I don't care if it's natural or not, he doesn't need those things. He has a girlfriend!"

Sai's confusion clears up at this explanation. "Ah, Sarada-chan, right? I'm surprised Sasuke-kun has been taking it so well. He seems like the protective type."

Ino makes a face as she tries not to laugh. "Sasuke is _very_ protective. I had to fill out a questionnaire and sign a waiver to see Sakura when she was pregnant. And anyway, he doesn't know about the kids, and we'd like to keep it that way."

Her husband nods in understanding, going back to his drawing. Ino looks around the flower shop, frowning. "Where is that boy, he was supposed to help mind the store today."

Wetting the tip of his brush with his tongue, Sai replies absentmindedly, "The last I saw he was hiding in a tree behind the house."

Before Ino can express her annoyance, the bell over the shop door rings.

* * *

"Yamanaka."

Standing in the door are a stone-faced Sasuke and a resigned-looking Sakura. The look on Sasuke's face immediately provides an explanation for Inojin's evasive behavior and disappearance, and Ino sighs and plants a smile on her face.

"What's up? What can I get for you guys?"

"You can bring me your hellspawn," Sasuke says tersely. Sakura rolls her eyes.

Ino purses her lips. "My child is a perfect angel. Why should I hand him over to you?"

"Because he defiled my daughter and violated my wife!" His sharingan unconsciously activates as he hisses at her.

Ino is unimpressed. "It was bound to happen at some point, Uchiha, whether it was my kid or not. Sarada's a good kid, she can make her own choices. Besides, I would _know _if my son had sex. A mother knows these things. And what the hell is this about Sakura?"

At the mention of sex, a black crackling flame sparks into existence.

"SASUKE, YOU IDIOT. PUT IT OUT. PUT IT OUT!"

* * *

Inojin leaps from the tree as soon as he senses Sasuke's chakra in the vicinity. He hits the ground hard and starts running as fast as he can. He's not taking any chances. After what he pulled the other day in the alley, Sasuke is sure to kill him on sight.

He cuts through the neighbors' yards, leaping over fences and climbing to the rooftops. Shooting off an inky messenger bird as he goes, Inojin heads for one of the farthest training grounds.

Once there, he settles behind an outcropping of boulders and waits. It doesn't take long, and he hears a sharp whistle from somewhere behind him. Inojin frantically smooths out his short pony tail and checks his breath before revealing himself.

He grins at Sarada, who's standing there twirling a kunai around her finger, that signature Uchiha smirk gracing her face. She saunters up to him slowly, subtly swinging her hips. She doesn't speak, but as she approaches him she drags a finger down his chest.

Sarada leans in close, and Inojin feels lightheaded from the spicy floral scent she's wearing filling his nostrils. She tugs on his collar, pulling his ear down toward her lips.

"Gotcha," she whispers.

Inojin blinks in confusion. "Huh?"

He feels the sharp press of a kunai against his gut as Sarada morphs into Uchiha Sasuke.

_to be continued._


	4. The Art of Surrender

**Title:** The Art of Surrender  
**Summary:** In which Inojin learns that his girlfriend and her father are more alike than he thought.  
**Pairing:** InoSara/SaraJin  
**Disclaimer:** Naruto, not mine since 1999.  
**Note:** Yeah, I know, this is way overdue. One more chapter after this. And then a prologue that I already wrote, but I feel like posting it last.

* * *

As soon as he'd realized that he was head-over-heels for Uchiha Sarada, Inojin had known that this is how he would die.

There is an unpleasant gleam in Sasuke's eyes as he presses the tip of the kunai into the juvenile's gut. Inojin sweats profusely, mentally apologizing to his mother and Sarada, and praying that they don't find his hand-drawn porn stash.

ChouChou will be pissed as all hell at him for dying, and Shikadai will find it troublesome. How can InoShikaChou continue without its third member? He's sure to be in trouble for that, even after death.

His mother will be devastated, and probably murderous. She'll probably kill Sasuke after extensive mental torture, and while Inojin finds slight comfort in the idea of being avenged, Sarada would hate him for it and curse his memory for the rest of eternity.

With that thought in mind, Inojin does the only thing left he can do. He begs.

"SorryI'msorrypleasedon'tkillme-"

But Sasuke is unamused and unimpressed, and his grip on Inojin's collar tightens. He opens his mouth, perhaps to deliver the death sentence, but he is interrupted.

"PAPA, LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW."

The real Sarada stands behind him, fuming, and very much resembling her mother when she's angry. Her chakra is palpable, whipping her hair around in fury. Arms crossed across her chest, she levels a glare at Sasuke that is pure Uchiha.

Sasuke scowls. "You are not to see this boy again, Sarada. Now go home, I'll speak to you when I'm done with him."

But Sarada is as stubborn as her father, and her feet stay firmly planted where they are. "No, you're going to leave Inojin alone, and we're going to talk _now_."

Her eyes narrow to dangerous slits, and Inojin thanks every god above that it's not him she's angry at. Sasuke draws himself up to his formidable full height, mercifully dropping Inojin like yesterday's trash. Relieved, Inojin scoots well out of arm's reach of the angry Uchiha patriarch.

"Sarada-" Sasuke starts angrily, but she cuts him off.

"No, Papa, you listen to _me_. This is exactly why we didn't tell you about us. You are such a drama queen. Worse even than Uncle Naruto."

Sasuke turns a peculiar shade of purple, spluttering incoherently.

Sarada continues, ignoring him. "We havent had sex, Papa, so you can get that idea right out of your head. And I'm going to continue seeing Inojin, because I _like_ him, and you're just going to have to get used to it."

"Absolutely not," Sasuke's own eyes narrow back at her.

Sarada casually inspects her nails, completely unphased by his denial. "I can always tell Mama that you're being unreasonable. I'm sure she has an opinion that she'd like with you."

And that's how Sasuke knows he's lost. No matter how much he orders or argues, if Sakura thinks he's getting in the way of their baby girl's happiness, she won't hesitate to turn him into mortar. But still…

"Ino's kid?" He asks bleakly.

Victory sealed, Sarada smirks. And for Sasuke it's like looking in the mirror. "Yes, Papa. And the Yamanaka family is coming over for dinner tonight, and Mama and I expect that you'll be a perfect gentleman."

Sasuke gives up. His progeny is going to be the end of him. Silently acquiescing, he turns to Inojin, who straightens instantly under the Uchiha's gaze.

"If you break her heart, or hurt her in any way-"

"I'll break his face myself, Papa." She breezes past him coolly, taking Inojin's hand in hers.

Sasuke can't help himself, he smirks. Hr knows very well that she would, but he still would throw in his own two cents and a chidori should the boy ever hurt her.

As the pair walk away from the training ground, Sarada turns back to him and calls out, "Oh, and Papa, Aunt Ino was looking for you. Something about burning down her flower shop. I'll see you tonight!"

Sasuke has the ominous feeling that he may not live to see dinner.


End file.
